A Virtuous Woman~ Mid-Week #2

Proverbs 31: 10 The passage starts by giving us the overall name of this woman~ Virtuous.  As we continue to unpack the whole scripture, we will see the individual qualities and character that allows her to be named Virtuous with the reputation for being morally excellent.
Virtuous~ Morally excellent, quality of doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong.  Not just being a "good" girl but being "God's" girl.
                                        I still like being referred to as a "girl" sometimes.
Titus 2: 11-12  For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men.  It teaches us to say "NO" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and  to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in theis present age,while we wait for the blessed hope-the glorious appearing of our great God and saviour, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

2 Peter 1:3 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test your yourselves.

Why are there so few men seeking women of virtue?  Is it that there are so few virtuous women to be sought?  I know that before I became a true worshiper ( John 4:23-24 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.  God is spirit and his worshipers MUST worship in spirit and truth) I considered virtuous to mean prudish, goody goody, stuck up and simply no fun.  As I have been studying the scriptures, I am getting the perspective that has been missing in my heart.  The truth is that in today's world" being bad is the new good". ( quoted by Vicki Courtney) With television shows titled, " Girls Gone Wild", "The girls next door" and " The bad girls club", it's no wonder women of virtue seem few and far between.  Of the 28  proverbs that refer to women, 19 make a reference to the "bad girl" describing her as wayward, full of folly, without discretion and a seductress.

The good news for us is that we can learn for ourselves and teach the younger girls in our sphere of influence what God values is a good name and a good reputation.  The Proverbs 31 women is named virtuous and her reputation is one of being morally excellent (not perfection).  Reputation is defined as "the generally accepted estimation of somebody".  It's your charcter standing and name as determined by God and others.  You are who you've been becoming.  This starts from the beginning of life.  Hebrews 4: 12-13 frequently reminds me of who I really am before God when I am all alone, with no one to impress.  I desire deeply to be authentic regardless of the circumstance or the people around me.  Proverbs 22:1  " A good name rather to be chosen than great riches."  Socrates, the Greek philospher states, " Regard your good name as the richest jewel that can possibly be possessed.  Endever to be what you desire to appear."   Proverbs 3: 1-4 My son do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity.  Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.  Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.  I am so grateful that God cares about who I am from the inside out and is with me every step, every trial and error, every victory to ensure I become the kind of woman that He values and not the kind that the world defines.  I am a work in progress.  Philippians 1: 4-6 ....... being confidant of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.   ellen herbert, being made virtuous, morally excellent, daughter of the King

A Place to go on Big Adventures

Although it is never easy to say goodbye to friends, it's better knowing they are going to be in great hands and in a great place.  Lorenzo and Jesse have moved to Atlanta!  What a gift that Knoxville is giving to them in this couple.  Jesse's heart for music and Lorenzo's ability to make people laugh and feel at ease will surely be missed.  We send them off with great confidance that God has a perfect plan for them to draw closer to Him and fulfill his will.  We are so grateful to have been apart of that journey, even if for only a little while.  We will always be your family and a place that you may call home.  We love you.

Payton's Place~ A Place for Change

This is my daughter, Payton.  She is now TEN.  One day she was nine and the next ten.  It was like going into a time warp.  I may be crazy but everything seemed to change in one day.  She grew physically, emotionally and spiritually in ways I don't think I was ready for.  One thing about her that has always been apparent is not necessarily what she knows but what she understands.  God knew it would take a fantabulous big sister to love a sibling with special needs and I believe she has exceeded all expectations.  Ward and I have said on many occasions that she has the wings that makes our family fly. Deeply compassionate and wise beyond her years, a sensitive soul that calms me down and draws me to think about what I am saying, how I am saying it and where I am saying it.  Proverbs 20:5 " The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters but a man of understanding draws them out."  I have meditated on this scripture many times over the past fifteen years ( well, March 12th will be fifteen years since I studied the bible and became a follower of Christ) especially since most of those years has been spent serving women by muddling through our deep waters together.  It's different though when it's your own daughter.  My biggest challenge with Payton is accepting her, nurturing her strengths without controlling her.  I have been writing journals for her for years.  I write about alot of different things.  I tape pictures that she and Ben have drawn me, cards from friends who wrote something that I would want her to know about me, favorite quotes but mostly prayers, all kinds of prayers.  For me, that's the most vulnerable place for me to be and where she will see into my heart the most.  I am not sure when I will give them to her.  I was thinking after I am gone, I just always want her to hear me cheering loudly for her.  And I want her to know me, really know me like the way I long to know my mom.  In one of my entries I wrote, " She is so beautiful.  Her skin, her eyes, her smile, her neck and hands.  I love the way she smells.  She doesn't know it but I light up whenever I see her.  I feel warm and healed around her.  She is me without the baggage.  She has not experienced the same things as I did at her age.  I am grateful she lives a life different than I did.  She is special~ some people you can just "see" that they are chosen for something special~ this from the very moment she came into this world.  I pray that I can fulfill my role to train her, love her, nurture her, I am overwhelmed that I too am chosen for something special, her mother.  What I love most about her is her heart and spirit within.  She makes me want to be more, to be better, kinder,happier.  I fear she sees me stressed, sad, angry, hard hearted.  Please let my legacy to her be different.  Be careful little one, we three made you from scratch.  You shall never know how deep my love runs for you, I pray God will whisper it in your ear when I am not near." August 25th, 2009 

This is the pic that is taped to that entry.  I have started to read Vicki Courtney's 5 Conversations you must have with your daughter along with the bible study guide.  Payton has seen the books in my bedroom and has asked several times, " are we going to have a conversation soon?"  Oh yes, little one, we are constantly having conversations. I love you all.  Thanks for reading.

Check out Vicki's website in my Places I like to visit, I highly recommend her books and blog.

A Place for One Another

One of the biggest complaints that I hear from women is that they don't have deep relationships whether they compare them to ones they may have had in the past or if it's just not something they are good at.  I just wanted to share about how the need for friendship is being fulfilled in my life.  My closest and longest relationships just happen to be with women who live in different cities than I.  Over the last seven years, since we have all scattered to different places, we have made tremendous effort and sacrifice to make sure we at least see eachother once a year.  In between those times, we often email, text or send a good old fashioned letter or card in the mail.  I know I have shared that the past few years I have pulled back my heart and my connection with people around me.  Many times I have been in a room full of people and have felt more lonely than ever.  In my bible study and prayer time, God would always pull me back to how much I needed to be close to women right here in my city, in His church.  I started by just praying about who was one person that I could connect with.  I was very honest with God about where I was in my fear to give my heart again, about needing someone to accept me right where I was~ weaknesses and all.  It became more and more clear who this woman would be.  She is "just" a few years younger than me with a toddler and a newborn.  I called her and asked her if she would be interested in being my friend.  I know right, just like asking a guy "to go with me" in junior high and highschool : ) It was amazing as she shared that she, too, had been praying and had thought alot about wanting to be closer to me.  We set some expectations and I was very open with her about where I was spiritually ( I actually had studied the bible with her years prior and helped her to become a disciple).  There were a few things we felt very deeply about if we were going to be in eachother's lives.  One was that we would meet at least once a week and would guard that time with our lives.  We set a specific day and time.  It just automatically goes into my schedule ( I plan my week on Sunday evenings).  Second, is that nothing was too deep, too "bad" that we couldn't talk about with eachother.  Third, we agreed that we would use the bible as our standard to help and encourage one another.  I can not tell you enough how God has blessed this relationship.  We both have very busy lives but the world just stops for that hour and a half.  I guess I have always felt real pressure that I needed to be close to everyone because I was the women's ministry staff and married to the minister.  I have found it an impossiblility to do so, not in the way I would want or have felt what others wanted. The conviction that I am gaining is that what I CAN do is to live by example.  That if I can be a real live image bearer, living out scriptures in my daily life, I can be connected to many.  Going back to my friend, Thursdays at 9:30am is the only place I want to be or need to be.  God has shown me His love, grace, acceptance, forgiveness, discipline,correction, teachings, encouragement, peace, joy, the list goes on and on because our relationship is based on a devotinn to the scripture and to one another.  I pray that every woman would have this amazing experience in their lives.  I also want to share about what we have in The Knoxville Church that is a great way to be close to other woman ( I know many churches have these) is through the Family Group that you choose to be apart of.    I absolutley LOVE my family group.  It hasn't been about what I get out of it but as I have changed in my heart and mind ( known as repentance- 1 Corinthians 7: 8~13) and have given those things to my family group, I am having the best experience in a group setting.  We make dinner for eachother just because we are thinking of one another.   Every person involved has made the decision to simply not give up meeting together ( Hebrews 10:25) and the plan will work its way out.  It's not necessarily what we do as much as we are together.  On another note, I know texting is not the same as seeing eachother face to face but it's here and it's here to stay so why not use it as a tool to connect throughout the week.  I may not have time to have a twenty minute conversation, but I do have ten seconds to tell someone I am thinking of them or send a scripture while my gas tank is being filled or while I am waiting in line at the bank ( surely not while driving ).   Here are some scriptures in reference to what God's plan is for our relationships.  Start with prayer, start with openess, start small, start deep and you will be amazed at how close you will feel to God and in your relationships.  Sue, thank you for being the reason Thursday is my favorite day of the week.  I love you. ( In pic, Jane, Kim and Sue)
John 13: 34~35
Romans 12: 9~13
Romans 13:8
Romans 15: 7
1 Peter 1:22
Hebrews 3:13
Colossians 3:13
Ephesians 4
Ephesians 5: 19~21

A Place To Celebrate......

This morning I have the priviledge of seeing a young woman, eighteen to be exact, who has been studying the bible with me over the past two months get baptized.  It's  amazing how God knows exactly what will refresh a person.  Whether it is a phone call, a card, a smile, a compliment or watching someone's life completley change as she makes Jesus Lord in every area of her life.  For a long time I have wondered if God was done with me.  Due to alot of past hurts and being "the preacher's wife, I pulled back my heart from ministry and connection out of sheer survival mode.  Thank you God for putting Tia in my life to remind me that You are in control and that there are many women who still desire to know you and walk with you.

A Place for Ben~ Benism

"Ben, why do you have green color crayon up and down your pants?"  "Uh, I colored on them."  " Ben, we have talked about this before.  Do you think you should get a pow pow? Or do you think I should ground you?"  "No, mom."  Well, then what do you think I should do?"  Ben says, " Just wash them."

A Capable Woman in Review

In our first study in Proverbs 31, I confessed that I often do not like to think of her because I saw her as a woman with qualties and a personalty that I could never attain fully.  But, as I am studying this passage of scripture, I am learning so much and seeing that she is a real partner in the gospel with me.  She is an ideal that has been around for a very long time.  This passage represents the qualities and character that men of God should seek in a life partner.  She is NOT a real woman but encompasses all that a woman has the potential to become before and within a marriage.  So, this tells me that this passage is speaking to all women reguardless of marital status.  Besides, the scripture tells us that as a single woman, your husband and devotion is to God.  Who wouldn't want to value the things that God values with He, Himself as your leading man! 
1 Corinthians 7: 1~39
 
We went on to see that a valued quality is to be a woman of strength.  This word strength is
hayil which means strong, mighty, with competence and vigor, especially in warfare.   In verse eleven, "[her husband] will lack no gain" the literal translation of gain is spoils from war or booty.  It suggests that the women is like a warrior bringing home booty from her victories.  She goes out and fights for what her family needs.  In verse 16, "she considers a field and buys it," means that she literally "takes" the field.  This term is used to describe an army taking a city or a region.  The verb means to conquer and subdue a territory.  It describes a woman looking at a wild field and figuring out how to tame it and subdue it into a vineyard.  This takes surveillance, thought and planning.  These qualities of strength combined with a gentle and quiet spirit takes practice and time.  This requires daily getting up and falling down.

This passage is found in the book of Proverbs which is where wisdom is found.  My heart and mind have been changed toward this ideal woman simply in the fact that I no longer compare myself to her but rather, walk along side her.  I can look to her to gain wisdom.  Proverbs 1: 7, 28: 5... but they that seek the Lord understand all things.  She is the ideal wisdom put into daily practice.  The bible speaks of two kinds of wisdom in James 3: 13-18.  There is worldly wisdom and heavenly wisdom.  I encourage you to study this passage, it is so great.   Here are some scriptures describing a wise woman: 1) she wins souls Pr. 11:30
2) Inherits glory Pr. 3: 35  3) Receives commandments Pr. 10: 8  4) Listens to counsel Pr. 12: 15  5) Guards her tongue Pr. 29: 11  6) Seeks knowledge Pr. 18: 15  7) Imparts knowledge Pr. 15: 7   8) Flees evil Pr. 14:16

Here is the titles of future Wednesday night women's midweek classes
A Virtuous Woman
A Woman of Trust
A Woman of Energy
A Woman of Beauty
A Woman of Stewardship
A Woman of Service
A Woman of Preparedness
A Woman of Prudence
A Woman of Love
A Woman of Praise
I do want to give credit to the many women who have studied and laid so much ground work for us to glean from.  Much of my material comes from their wisdom passed down!